Psychic Abilities

So recently I had a massage where I got relaxed and got thinking about things, realized things about my life and the nature of my soul and the universe. This has brought the whole idea of metaphysics to the forefront of my attention. My mentor tries to talk to me about activities to fill up my schedule, but really I'm not interested in anything that isn't related to spiritual development.

Something that happened awhile before the massage was that I started getting a sense of what people were feeling when I talked to them. First it started where I could feel people pulling away, either because they were losing interest and their mind was going off on a different track or because something I said turned them off. This feeling of other people has gradually been getting stronger. It's still incredibly weak though. The thing about it is it usually goes along with peoples' facial expressions/voice expressions/body language. Sometimes these feelings are hard to read. My parents were visiting, I walked by my mom and I felt frustration in her energy. I asked her if she was frustrated. She said she was because she couldn't find her hairbrush.

Nicotine seems to make it weaker. I chew nicotine gum. I have to have it or else I get pissed off then really depressed. When I feel disconnected from people, the feeling also gets weaker. I got frustrated today because I went to class and I could hardly feel it at all. I have become dependent on this feeling. When I started talking to my table mates more, it got a bit stronger. If I sit and talk to someone for awhile I start to feel it. I usually don't feel it right off the bat. There have also been other minor examples of psychic things, nothing very convincing though.

I went to a psychic/metaphysical message board because I heard it was a way of getting free psychic readings. I found out the advantage of talking to these people versus paid online psychics is they don't sugar coat. But they are amateurs too. I got a reading and I sort of got the impression that they were just going off what I said and not really reading me, though they did mention one detail that was true that I hadn't told them.

So I went to another section on the message board where they do picture readings. I posted a picture of myself. I got responses I felt were more accurate. The first person who responded emphasized introspection, which is very true because I am a very introspective person, but even more so recently. The next person mentioned that he sensed a lot of resentment and the need to hide something. This was also true. I was trying to hide this weak feeling of being psychic because in the past to my parents and doctors that has been a delusional thing. What this guy said was absolutely true. Both of them I think said something about having talents and expanding my inner self. I wondered if they meant psychic abilities.

But anyway, it's been weak today so far and I don't like that.

The Supernatural

Oh, dating websites. This is where I am reminded that most people bore me. I see the same thing over and over and over again: "I'm a pretty laid-back easy going dude. I want a real relationship no drama no bs no headgames. I like to hike, fish, spend time outdoors." Everyone in Northern Idaho/Spokane likes to spend time outdoors. I'd like to see something a little more original.

My profile is original. I basically copied and pasted what I said under about me on facebook onto my POF account. Yeah, stuff about spirits. Some people think it's cool. Some people think I'm joking (I'm not). One guy told me: "You're too cute to believe in stuff like that."

This is the kind of comment that would piss me off if I cared about what other people said. I don't, but I'm going to say what I think anyway.

Some people think it's naive to believe in stuff like psychic abilities and spirits. I think the people who don't believe are naive. First, let's discuss what naive means. It means you lack the experience to understand how the world works. It's not the same as immature, which is an emotional state. Naive is more about knowledge gained from experience. These people have not had experiences like me any many other people have, the experiences that make you realize that there are forces at work in your life beyond those you can see.

Now I know what a lot of skeptic types would be thinking now. They have probably encountered people who are overly superstitious in their thinking and resort to the "it's a spirit" or "it's something supernatural" conclusion too quickly. I feel these people on this. I remember this one time, I was looking at some sort of metaphysical website. There were some photographs some people had taken of supposedly supernatural things like orbs and shit. In this one picture, there were two kids, one with their hand out and then some massive "spirit" thing coming out from their hand. The person who had submitted the picture had written that the lady who took the picture just had this talent for capturing "special things" or whatever in her pictures. Well, I know what it looks like when a strand of hair gets in front of the camera lens, and I can tell you, that "spirit" looked an awful lot like a strand of hair. I was thinking this lady probably had frizzy hair or something and that's why she was able to capture stuff like that in her photographs. I don't know if that's true, but that was the conclusion I came to. Anyway, my point is, some people are too quick to label things as supernatural, and that's where I think a lot of the skeptics are coming from.

I didn't believe in anything supernatural when I was younger. I thought the whole idea of someone being psychic was a joke, and everyone knew that, I didn't think that anyone took it seriously. Because, obviously, you can't look into someone else's mind or someone else's life, how the hell is that supposed to work? Supernatural stuff goes against what one would think would be correct. But here's what I don't get: Who are these people to think that they understand the world, existence, and consciousness SO WELL that that kind of shit just could never possibly happen? These things aren't understood very well at all. But while I do believe in psychic abilities, I don't recommend spending money on psychics, because they are unreliable. That's why psychic abilities haven't been proven.

And the thing about spirits is, if you lived my life, you too would believe in them. It used to drive me crazy because when I would talk to people, no one understood how crazy stuff from my life was, they would just brush off everything I told them. Then I realized something: these were just the doctors, therapists, and my parents. When I talked to other people about it, they seemed to think it was pretty crazy as well.

Psychic Powers

At the time being, I don't believe I'm psychic. But I believe I could be psychic if I overcome the tendency to see only what I want to see.

I remember one day in eighth grade sitting in science class. We were drawing letters from a hat, or some other bowl or sack-like object, to see which element we would study for are element report. I was waiting my turn, and I was thinking to myself, you know, if I think real hard, I can see into the future and see what letter I'm going to draw before I draw it. So I thought real hard, and the letter H came into my head. Then I drew a letter, and it was an H.

The thing is, I had no vested interest in picking any of the letters. These days, I only try to see into the future about things that actually matter to me. There are times when feelings about things are so overwhelming I know it's more than me just believing what I want to believe. But this is rare, and even then it can be unreliable.

So I am left waiting the painfully slow wait to see if the agent likes my book. If things were a bit more fast paced, I wouldn't have to wonder so much.