Energy Work and Astrology: Why the Beautiful Unicorn and the Three-Headed Beast Sometimes Tango

Why do some energy workers use astrology?

My guides told me that astrology was tomfuckery. I already knew this, but I was glad they said it too!

One time, a long long time ago, I got energy work done on me from a shaman. She asked if she could use astrology. I wanted to say no, but I said yes anyway, because that was her thing.

So I asked my guides tonight, why do these "energy workers" use astrology? If it is full of shit, why do they use it? Here is what they said.

First they said, we think they like to buy into the same bullshit that their earthlings do. Not because it's true, but because they buy into the same tomfuckery because it makes the earthling feel complete.

When I asked again, they said that guides typically know it is full of shit, but some are inexperienced and don't know their fuckery. When a guide says, hey, you can use astrology, that's great! I think, dumbfuck. Not because I believe it's full of shit, but because it is. That's not it. When guides say, Find hope in small things, they don't mean, star signs. They mean, fun little things like rainbows. So when they ask their guides, Can I use astrology? They think, well, maybe, but don't count on anything weird happening as a result. Another thing about it is, when guides use astrology, they do not know what they are doing typically, and can mess things up. Rachel, your energy working friend was a good girl at the nuts and bolts aspect of energy work, but not good at shamanism. She was a crappy shaman. That is all.

Another thing worth mentioning is, something akin to astrology is very, very real on many, many planes, but not the Earth plane. So when guides think astrology is real, they are following a rumor that is on the other side about Earth astrology which isn't true even in the slightest.

Astrology: A Funny Kind of Bullshit

So I wanted to take a moment to talk about something I think is bullshit: astrology.

Yes, I believe in things like psychics, sometimes I believe in tarot cards (other times I get frustrated with the random bullshit), I believe in ghosts and telepathy. I believe in dream interpretation. But I don't believe in astrology.

The reason I don't believe in astrology comes down to the fact that it doesn't make any sense. Why would the stars, and planets, affect my personality and life?

Some people read their profile of their sign, based on when they were born, and say wow! So accurate! The thing is, those things really aren't that accurate. It's the same thing with numerology, the "science" of assigning numbers to each letter in the alphabet, adding the numbers in your name together, and then continuously adding the digits together until you get a single digit number, which represents your personality. Or maybe it's the digits in your birthday. Something like that.

So here's how it works. Astrology profiles are incredibly vague. Your personality isn't black and white. For every personality trait, you don't either have it or you don't, you have it to varying degrees. For example, shyness. Everyone experiences moments where they feel shy. For me, if my astrology profile said I was shy, I could see a lot of truth in that. But if it said I was outgoing, I could see truth in that too! Because I do act outgoing sometimes. It's like that with shy/outgoing, it is probably the same with any other personality trait. How people act depends on their mood. They don't ever say really specific things about your personality in astrology readings. Not that I've ever gotten an astrology reading, besides that free one. I'm talking about general ones for your star sign. They say things that allow anyone to look at it and see truth in. Same with numerology.

Then don't even get me started on horoscopes. Are horoscopes ever accurate? Actually, one time, my sister had one that was accurate! It said she would meet a guy with a certain personality on a specific day of the month, and she met a guy like that on that day! Wow! It was accurate once! But, the law of averages says, it's bound to be accurate every once in awhile. I chalk it up to a coincidence.

One thing I thought was really stupid. A couple years ago, people were saying that the signs has shifted, because the stars and planets or whatever had shifted over time, so their astrology signs had changed. I looked into it. "Expert" astrologers were saying that that wasn't the case, everyone's signs were all the same. Anyway, I had a Cosmopolitan magazine. I have this problem now, when it comes to buying magazines. No magazines really suit my interests. The best one I've found is Scientific American Mind, which is about psychology and is interesting. But sometimes, you just kind of want a fun magazine, so occasionally I buy Cosmo. I don't know why. I fucking hate Cosmo. It's so stupid. But I buy it sometimes. Anyway, they have this thing in the magazine where they have a pie chart of things that people are talking about around the Cosmopolitan office. One time it was something like, people were discussing what it was like now that they have different astrology signs, because the planets have shifted.

The reason this is stupid, is because they didn't shift overnight. If the signs shifted and you are now a Sagittarius, that means you were always a Sagittarius. You were never whatever sign you thought you were before. So it's like, wow! That explains why our horoscopes have never ever been accurate! All this time we've been looking at the wrong one!

I kind of thought that it said something about the intelligence level of the people who work at Cosmopolitan magazine. What's more likely? Astrology has always been accurate, we were just looking at the wrong horoscope? Or, the reason our horoscopes have never been accurate is because astrology is a load of bullshit?

Shyness

So I've been thinking about how I diagnosed myself with selective mutism. I told my therapist today about it, she didn't argue but she said something like, "oh, well most people get anxious in social settings." But she wouldn't really know if I had the disorder or not. She didn't know me when I was younger.

There's something about knowing I have this disorder that makes me feel better. When I think about it, I see reasons why it could make me feel better or it could make me feel worse. The reason why it might make me feel worse is because it means I'm not unique in being so quiet, which sounds like a good thing, but let me explain. I remember back in 2006, I was at the Amen clinic where they were scanning my brain. They also do an interview to help with the diagnosis. It took a great deal of prodding because I had learned from past mistakes not to talk to doctors about certain things, but the interviewer got me to explain a little bit of my delusions, though not in great detail (come to think of it, I've never really explained them to anyone in great detail). The interviewer said there were a few grandiose things, so he asked me the question he asks everyone, which was: "Why you?" Why would this happen to you? Why are you so special? I knew why me, but I didn't answer this question. Because I'm the girl who doesn't talk. And yes, these were delusions, but as I've said before I've considered the circumstances carefully and I think there was something more than just a chemical imbalance, and so what I'm trying to say is that being unique supports my theory. Which is why I might not be happy about not being unique, but that isn't the case. Because being exceptionally quiet is by far not the only thing that makes me unique!

I don't really feel like ranting and raving about the reasons why there are spirits. Even if I did, I would just dance around the issue because if I were to actually give reasons I would be revealing book secrets. Back to the issue at hand: selective mutism. Now that I have a name to describe what I have, I see it as something more external to me and not a defect of my soul. I also realize that it can come with virtues, which I explained in a previous post.

This is weird and I can't stop thinking about it. I wonder if this has anything to do with why I've been feeling seriously funny lately. I think there's more to it than that, though. If I believed in astrology, I might say that the stars have shifted and they are in my favor right now. But I don't believe in astrology.