A Spiritual Worldview

So I tend to identify with the New Age movement. At the same time, I think a lot of aspects of it are hokey. For example, the belief that when the Europeans first came to America, the Native Americans couldn't see the ships. But I've already discussed this topic, in an entry I posted not too long ago. What I'm trying to say is, I get the impression that a lot of New Age people are ignorant about science, or the actual implications of science, so their "science" is a joke.

So the reason I am writing this entry is to discuss my worldview.

According to my worldview, the physical world was set into motion by a spiritual force. You can call this force God. You and I may or may not have been present at creation. I tend to think we were.

We were a part of The Source, and then we incarnated on Earth to be separate from The Source. When you are united with The Source, you feel love. Because The Source is love.

We come to Earth to grow in spirit. I'm not exactly sure what the purpose of growing in spirit is. There are some things I don't know. You create a life plan before you incarnate, choose your personality traits, and the family you want to be born into.

Along the way, you have spirits which help you. They may or may not make their presence known to you. Mine have made their presence known to me. I used to look down on people who didn't believe in spirits because they had never had certain experiences happen to them so they were ignorant, but now I don't care because I realize I was once like them. It just annoys me when people who are ignorant act like I am somehow deranged for believing in these things.

The degree to which your life is planned depends on what you decide before you were born. With me personally, there was part of my life that was very structured, in that it was planned out. Right now I've gotten to a point where I am supposed to publish this book but ultimately it depends on me and my actions. If I screw up it may not happen. However, I highly doubt that I'm going to screw this up.

Part of you is aware of your life plan and the major events that are going to happen to you. There are moments of foreshadowing, when something happens that bears a resemblance to something that is about to happen and it feels odd.

You've lived past lives. Some souls are older and more mature than other souls. Not all souls mature at the same rate. More mature souls typically deal with more complex issues. However, younger souls may choose a plan to help them mature faster by dealing with more complex issues earlier on. When I learn about peoples' lives I get a sense of how old/mature of a soul they are. I don't know if my feelings about this are correct, but it is a belief that I have, however unsupported it may be.

I believe that prayer can help, but ultimately if you pray for something to happen that's not meant to happen it's not going to happen.

I believe in God but I don't think that He is all-powerful. There are certain scientific rules that are in place. He can use supernatural forces that will overcome these rules on a small scale, but on a larger scale He can't re-program the universe without starting over. So, for example, He can't wave his magic wand and make it so that global warming is no longer a problem, because of the way the Earth is set up.

I don't believe God is all-knowing either. The reason is because we have free will, and God may have a basic idea of what we will likely do with our free will but ultimately the decision is up to us.

It is ideal that you love all other souls unconditionally. But as I've stated in previous posts, this is extremely difficult when people do things that are hard to forgive. We are all connected but separate on Earth, but by loving one another we become closer and more united, and unity with other souls is the single most rewarding thing you can have. Don't judge others for their actions, even if some action seems completely backward you assume that you are ignorant. However, there are people who are not good people, but don't jump to the conclusion that someone is not a good person too quickly. As for myself, I've known bad people but there is only one person I know who I think is truly evil. But for the most part, you need to be accepting of all different types of people.

Things are always more complicated than you think. Always. It is okay and unavoidable to simplify things in your own mind in order to understand them, but keep in mind that things are always more complicated than you think.

If you notice, some of these things have similarities to Christian beliefs, but they are different. This concludes my discussion on my worldview, for now.

Massages and Old Souls

So my parents and I went on an excursion to Leavenworth, Washington. My mom scheduled massages for the both of us at the hotel. Lately I've been noticing a lot of things have centered around the subject of massages. I've never had a professional massage before. I went in, not knowing what I was going to do with my mind during the massage. I could practice mindfulness, or I could search for answers in my relaxed state of mind. I decided on the latter.

Something about the setting was more conducive to looking inside one's own mind. I try to do it at home sometimes but I never get anywhere. So first I concentrated on what I was experiencing physically as the masseuse massaged my back. Then I thought about petty issues in my life, and tried to let my brain drift to the correct answer. I didn't get very far with this, and without meaning to I advanced to examining the Core Issues.

You know, I have to be careful about what I say on here because my parents and people in charge of my treatment read this. I worry that if I say anything that doesn't indicate that I agree fully that my "mental illness" was strictly the result of a chemical balance that could have been avoided, people will view me as confused and delusional and in need of a med change/increase.

That said, I got some answers that I'm not entirely sure are true but might be true. I'm sort of like a teacher. I don't know if I've mentioned it but I absolutely believe in past lives and reincarnation. I already knew that I'm an old soul. I've been told this by unreliable sources but I didn't need to be told because it was something I just intuitively knew. So anyway, I knew I was an old soul but I didn't realize the extent to which the issues I face were designed to help other people. I got a better idea of the role I played and it sort of made me uncomfortable and left me with feelings of self-pity and I left the massage place with a lump in my throat like I was about to cry. Is this what you're supposed to get out of massages?

This wasn't a typical low though, because I wasn't left thinking I was a pathetic loser who would be better off dead. That's usually what chemical lows are like for me. I started writing a blog yesterday but I stopped and decided to hold off on it to see if this feeling lasted. I wake up today and I realize that these things still seem true to me. I don't feel self-pity anymore, it's kind of cool in a way.

I'd like to get more massages.