Innercept: A Journey Back to the Womb

The thing that makes a lot of sense about Innercept is their policy on helping young adults blossom into fully functioning human beings.

So what they do is, they keep them in a house in the middle of nowhere. Lock up all the food, the medication, everything they need. They have to request everything from staff members.

Staff drives them around all day, to places like the volunteer center.

And then, magically, they learn responsibility for themselves. Instead of Innercept making the decisions they used to make for them, they are suddenly making the same decisions.

Like, don't drink that energy drink. Two cups of coffee before eleven, none after. No cigarettes. T-shirts that go right up the neckline. Don't stay out past seven. And the like.

So, as a result, I make these same decisions that Innercept always made for me. Very modest clothing. They always told me at intercept, guys respect you more if you wear modest clothing. No cleavage. No blouses that look good. I once had a shirt sent home, not because it broke the dress code. Because it looked "a little too good on me."

No energy drinks. No nicotine. No caffeine past eleven. This is how my life is now.

How am I after Innercept? Am I self-sufficient? No, now I am in the Beev and F. Meek program. Regular room searches. All supplements are confiscated. Forced druggings. Lectures on caffeine. Lectures on going out alone. Lectures on staying up too late. Lots and lots and lots of lectures.

But anyway. Through Innercept doing everything for me, it taught me responsibility. For a long period of time, they made all the right decisions for me. So now, I have given up trying to be my own person, and doing things that make me feel good. Smaller portions. Fruit between meals. Regular harsh antipsychotics. Two cups of coffee. Menial service labor positions.

And as a result, I am self-sufficient, making money by myself, enough to get by, living on my own, no relapses or issues at all since Innercept... no alcohol, drugs, marijuana, harsh solvents, anything. I am perfectly happy, morbidly obese maybe, but perfectly happy.

That's what happens when you leave Innercept. I just worry about the dark and dreary nature of life now. A dark, dreary nature life never had before the antipsychotics. But I like to think I am happy. Happy as a robot.

Or is that how it happened?

No. I don't give a shit what a fucking fucked up program tells me to do. With anyone's effort to control me, there is a backlash. I say, fuck you, mother and father. Fuck you, psychiatrists. Medical professionals. I don't trust you anymore, at all. I will trust anyone who comes along besides you who appears to give a damn about me. You don't give a damn about me. You have your own motivations for keeping me doped up and medicated. My mom just wants one daughter who turned out well. Just one. She has two. Hopefully, if she does all she does to control the younger one, the one there is hope for, with an iron grip, making all the decision for her.... she will eventually turn out okay.

This is how it goes.

So I don't give a flying fuck anymore. I don't give a fuck about your sky high stress levels. "Oh, Rachel. When you go out at night, the two of us worry oh so much! Out past twelve? It's bed time! Rachel, are you dead in a ditch? Rachel, are you drunk off your ass? Rachel, are you shooting up heroine? RACHEL!!! Home by 8? That's late! Rachel! You are worrying your mom and dad! Don't live your life! We want you here at home!"

Back the fuck off. If it were up to you, my only social life would be church and the women with disabilities art work shop. I don't give a fuck that you worry, worry, worry. I am not going to live my entire life, bogged down by the fact that if I do certain healthy, normal things, my parents will worry. Back the fuck off and grow up.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Innercept. Innercept cages you in, treats you like a baby, so eventually, you end up acting like a baby. You become desperate for each other approval. Dependent on others, and their tactics backfire. It breeds criminal misconduct. And then, everyone leaves, and is sent off to prison.

This is how it goes.

Antipsychotics and Innercept: Partners in Fornication

The main, or one of, the reasons I despise Innercept is the culture of prescription drug use.

Ask any resident what medication they are taking. They are on a cocktail of different drugs: uppers, downers, in betweeners, antidepressants, antipsychotics, and the like. The common demoninator is the antipsychotic. Risperdal, Seroquel, abilify, invega, geodon, zyprexa. One of those.

Why do people go to Innercept? Why, a variety of reasons. These medications are used mainly for bipolar disorder or psychotic disorders. Most people at Innercept aren't there for these reasons. A lot of people are. But not most people who take these medications at Innercept.

Dr. Ulrich prescribes them for depression or general mood flattening. He read an article one day in People magazine about how sometimes, atypical antipsychotics work for depression. He decided to build his life around that idea by incorporating it strongly into his treatment center.

I know how these drugs work. They lessen the dopamine synaptic response in most places of the brain. In some rare places, there may not be enough. In these places, they increase it just a smidge. They also increase the synaptic response of a neural transmitter responsible for general feelings of malease.

So basically what it boils down to is, in some patients, who have extreme, suicidal, dark, dreary, horrible, homicidal moods, it will lighten it up a bit, because they have severe lack of dopamine. In normal patients, whose depression is caused by general but non-sinister dreary bad moods, it worsens it severely.

When these patients say they are not happy, Dr. Ulrich chalkens it up to the underlying condition and them not knowing there own bodies. On the outside, he sees they are not acting out as much, and thinks it must be do to less dark intrusive thoughts.

Another thing Dr. Ulrich believes is that antipsychotics aid the brain and produce a general state of well-being amongst the troubled. This is evident in the way it improves psychosis. In general, it improves thought clarity, which is an all around bonus, even in those who don't have unclear thoughts to begin with. He also believes prescription medication aids with the ability to control your own thoughts, as in medication. He also believes it improves the ability to communicate properly.

These are things my guides say he believes subconsciously. Consciously, he just says, he notices a general improvement in patients who take these medications, based on their ability to hold a conversation and not have thoughts that are all over the place.

Dr. Ulrich believes that if you come to Innercept, you should be on an antipsychotic. He looks down upon the patients who aren't on antipsychotics.

Antipsychotics worsen a whole host of conditions, including Parkinson's and other dopamine related issues like tourette's syndrome. They worsen ADD too, suicidal thinking when it is less severe, OCD, and Asperger's.

That's why some people might say, Innercept should go out of business.