Picture Reading: The Lowdown

So, through out my life, I have trained myself in picture reading.

You know, I thought my journey in this endeavor started shortly after I returned home from Innercept, was on a spiritual message board that talked about picture reading, and actually showed some talent in reading people on the site. Actually, my guides say it started when I was in high school. Sometimes  when I was bored in class, I would try to read the teacher's or other student's auras. Well, I started to see stuff after awhile: nothing all that impressive, however. One time, I was watching a girl give a speech in French class, and I noticed her aura turned from red to blue all of a sudden. A moment later, I realized it was because she had just finished her speech.

However, what my guides point out was the important thing was, when I would try to read people, I would feel a feeling in my own body of their energy. No information, just a funny tingle or touch of their energy. I tried to hold on to this feeling and pull at this feeling, and it was the start of what eventually lead to expert picture reading.

I can read people for information about them specifically, but usually when I picture read, I focus on what they are thinking/feeling toward me. I mean after all, I am not trying to snoop into people's private lives! After I read people correctly on the message board, I thought, "How can I use this talent to my advantage?" Well, there was a guy I had a crush on at the time, and I thought, hey, maybe I can see if he is thinking about me too! I picture read, and I picture read, and I picture read... I picture read my boyfriend soon after too, and saw him thinking about me frequently... I could see people thinking about me, but it took several years to become really really good at it. And when I say several years, I mean, lots and lots of time devoted to the task (after all, I don't have anything else I really feel like spending that much time on... I am an internet stalker at heart, okay, and this became a new convenient tactic).

It shows up as not colors, but I "see" an emotional connotation, and it's the emotional connotation they are thinking me in. See, in my world, we talk about something called soul pockets... They are sensory "pockets" or areas devoted to experiencing your five senses. So there is one for hearing, one for sight, one for taste which is related to the one for smell, one for touch and temperature.... Of course, you have many more than just these pockets in your soul! These are the only ones used on the Earth plane! On other planes, you may have more types of sensory experiences we can only imagine with limited imagination on the Earth plane... However, psychics often have other pockets open they use for their psychic experiences, and this is an example of that. These picture reading visualizations are in a completely different pocket.

On top of that, my guides show me visualizations related to thoughts the people are having about me. However, my guides have been known to fabricate at times for mysticism purposes, and it's my job to use my own judgment if these things I am seeing are realistic.

Another thing is, something I have noticed recently but not too recently (not within the past month).... I have a floater issue, related to picture reading. Sometimes, I get caught looking at floaters and have trouble focusing on what I am actually looking at. Annoying to be sure, but I think it is also related to limited dopamine. Another thing about that is, the psychological eye process related to picture reading is related to the one used for seeing floaters. So, if you are interested in trying it out yourself, that's a bit of direction. Another thing is, not everyone is capable of picture reading. People who have a natural talent for reiki work, tend to be picture readers as well.

Trust me, the floater issue is nothing compared to the benefits of being able to get insight into how people are thinking/feeling.

"If it weren't for the guardianship, you'd be dead, Rachel!"

So this is what I hear, when I tell my parents, the guardianship was a mistake.

"But if it weren't for the guardianship, you'd be dead!"

Why? When would I have died?

You'd be dead on the streets of downtown Portland!

There was this one time, when I was sent to a treatment center in Santa Barbara immediately following a suicide attempt, I wandered the streets of Santa Barbara for several nights doing drugs, not caring if I lived or if I died. I ended up living, and being sent to a treatment center in North Idaho immediately afterward, called Innercept.

To my parents, this same scenario, has repeated itself on in on in their minds, until the cows came home, which they never actually did. This scenario has repeated itself so many times! Well, yes, their memories are a bit foggy... But they know it, they know it, they know it!

My dad says, "God, Rachel, how dare you ask me to clarify and remember exactly when it happened a second and a third and a forth time! You know damn well it has happened many many MANY times, okay! Just like..." And then he falls asleep from the old age and the narcelepsy.

Actually, it has never happened a second time. I felt safe in Santa Barbara, I would never do the same thing in downtown Portland, and I have never been in that same mood or wanted to.

Then, my dad wakes up from his nap. "There was that one time, shortly after you moved back from Innercept, I had to pick you up from the streets of downtown Portland! See! SEE! You did the same thing that night, that one time! You were wandering the streets of downtown Portland at night!"

Actually, what happened was, I was out at night, and I was out simply past when the busses were running... So yes, I called my dad and asked for a ride home. I wasn't even doing any drugs that night. Not drinking, not smoking pot even, not anything else. Simply up past when the busses were running.

"Well, that proves it!" My dad says. "You would be dead in a ditch, if it weren't for the guardianship! This going out and doing drugs in the streets is a scenario that keeps repeating itself over and over again! IN FACT, THE DOCTORS SAID THE SAME THING! THEY SAID YOU WOULD BE DEAD, IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE GUARDIANSHIP!"

And yes, I am telling the truth, folks. My dad really DID tell me that. He told me, the doctors told him, I would be dead if it weren't for the guardianship. And.... He expected me to believe it.

That's why both my parents are fucking idiots. The end.

Enlightenment: Is this Finally It?

So, I've reached a part in my spiritual journey, where I feel like I should already be considered enlightened. Except, well, I'm not. No inner peace.

What do enlightened thought processes look like? How do they look different from mine? I've gotten rid of all the ego complexes! I don't beat up other people, ever. Nor myself, except I never did. I'm nice and perfectly sweet!

Maybe the thought that has been preventing me from enlightenment is... DUN DUN DUN... the bus stop incident last spring.

I was out one day, getting high and wandering. I accidentally got WAY too high. At a bus stop at a random place, a young woman asked me a question about the busses. Well, I was too high to be able to answer her. I stuck around a while, and noticed this woman stuck around awhile as well.

When I finally came down a little bit, I rode the bus over the hill, bought some marijuana, and rode back over the hill. When we were coming up to the place where I had the encounter earlier with the young woman, I held my nose all of a sudden! PEE-U!

I asked my guides what the fuck? They said, well, that young woman, was out of town and trying to visit family. She was lost and in a state of severe inner turmoil. So, since she was so upset, she continuously beat up the high girl at the bus stop for not giving her directions, and she made fun of me in a nasty way for being fat.

At the time, I was about 30 pounds heavier than right now, and I had my stomach artificially enlarged by my guides. At that particular time, I had no attachment at all to the idea of being asthetically pleasing, so instead of being at all offended I laughed my fucking head off! How embarrassing for her that I knew about it now!

You know, random girl at the bus stop, I'm here on my own business. I did not come to this particular location at this particular time, to give you directions. Also, what does that even look like? The thoughts behind causing such a stink for me being fat, I mean? Obviously, mere fat-shaming insults wouldn't cut it. It must consist of crass imagery, fat jiggling and such. God, what an obnoxious thing to do with your mind! Subbie made a comment that it was like she got frustrated and started banging her head against the pavement.

Another thing that Subbie said, was the thing that made it even funnier was that that girl was a real "goody two-shoes" girl. Meaning, a little too attached to the parents. Which meant she might like this one sex act on the other side which is abhorrent.

So anyway, do I have to extinguish laughing about this incident, to reach enlightenment? Or do I have to stop thinking altogether of people who I make judgments against?

Do I have to stop thinking altogether? If I'm not allowed to make a stab at someone who has an obnoxious trait I think is funny, what the fuck am I allowed to think about anyway? Nothing, apparently.

Maybe I should spend more time raving about how much I love all these people whom I never meet or see in person, like Subbie likes to do at times.

Here at Rachel Zuhl's world, we devote equal time to taking jabs and garnishing with praise. So yeah, I judge you, person who thinks I'm lying when I say I don't want to walk recklessly in front of cars when crossing a parking lot, because why do I care about drivers, I don't drive? I could think about things that I judge people for, and they are judgments I would, in EVERY SITUATION, mention to their face as well. Does that make me ineligable for enlightenment? Maybe I have to simply stop being Rachel Zuhl, and devise a whole new persona, as goody two-shoes as Pollyanna. Is that what I have to do to reach enlightenment?

Or do I have to make it out of the house on a regular basis, and squash this insecurity I have about being isolated, which makes me occasionally relish a little in a negative thought about someone else when a jab is taken within my own mind at my own situation?

I'll tell you what I think. I secretly suspect, the latter effect I notice ever so seldom... Is the final straw of the ego. Whether or not I have to fully integrate myself socially.... I'm not sure.

Occam's Razor

For today's discussion, let's assert that there are two possibilities for the creation of the universe:

1. God created it. Which begs the question, why does God exist?

2. Since there was something that must have created God, we can just remove the concept of God. And say, the universe just is.

This is what Occam's Razor says.

Anyway, the fallacy here is that in number two, we removed the concept and said (no concept) created the universe. Did a concept create the universe or is the thing that created a universe not considered a concept? ANSWER ME!

Huh?

Say what?

Let me explain. Number one goes like this: (whatever it is that created stuff or concepts) -> (God) -> (Universe)

Number two goes: (whatever created stuff or concepts) -> (whatever created the universe) -> (Universe)

Actually, you failed, Occam's Razor! THAT'S THE SAME NUMBER OF STEPS!!!

Whatever created stuff or concepts is called intellect. To get concepts, you must start with intellect. Also, what is this magical substance that created the universe, Occam's Razor? Sounds like fairy dust, mind you.

However, then you ask Rachel Zuhl's opinion... WHY THE FUCK WOULD WE ASK THAT LOW LIFE'S OPINION?! And she tells you about the concept of...

Spirits before truth! Which states that the purpose of existence isn't for particles and atoms, but rather for spirits to experience!

And she states that, whatever created the universe, sounds like the concept here is "desire." Which is a spirit concept, but the equivalent atom concept here is "energy." Which lacks the why, actually. Why is all this energy sitting around?

Well, why is all this desire sitting around? Are you saying God was just sitting there. Like, in the beginning, there were spirits?

YES! IN THE BEGINNING, there were spirits!

THERE ALWAYS WERE SPIRITS!

But how did the spirits get there? says random person number five.

They were always there, is the answer. Because of the inherent truth, that the universe is GOOD not neutral, so we can START OUT good instead of STARTING OUT without ANYTHING AT ALL!!

And the atheist brings up, well I think the inherent purpose of the universe is energy! ENERGY ALWAYS WAS!

Will it always be? Says kind-hearted soul child number five seven one eighteen.

Yes, it just moves around and after awhile, it evens out and then nothing happens for all of eternity, while we burn in atheistic hell because our minds lack dopamine.

Why is the universe so depressing? says kind-hearted soul child eleven ninety-two.

"I suffer from depression," was the answer of the atheist.

The Christian Right: Look, We Are In No Place to Judge

What is the current moral state of the country? Well, 78% of Evangelicals support President Trump. How can they support a man who is a flagrant racist, mysogonist, blatantly hateful individual like this man?

No doubt about it, some of the stuff that comes out of this guy's mouth is cringeworthy. That and the three marriages, numerous accusations of sexual misconduct, accusation of affairs...

For the Christian right, as they look over this preposterous list of presidential candidates, it might start to make their head spin. "We could vote for Trump, the mysoginist, or we could vote for Hillary... Put our national security at risk with the email scandal, Benghazi, married to the adulterer Bill Clinton, proudly supports the brutal murder of defenseless little babies no questions asked, at expense to the tax payer..."

Proudly supports the brutal murder of defenseless babies...

Proudly supports the brutal murder of defenseless babies...

"That's a selling point, too. That's one of the MAIN REASONS she has so much support! In fact, that's the sole reason a lot of people support her..."

"Well, you know... Neither of these candidates is completely IDEAL to say the least... But at least the other candidate, Donald Trump, came out AGAINST the murdering of the innocent babies..."

Of course, if the liberals were in the room for this conversation... They'd be up in arms! "No... We don't know if they are ALIVE or not yet... We abort them before they are born, it saves them from a lifetime of misery being an unwanted child... Plus, we are overpopulated as it is, we don't need a whole bunch of unloved children coming into this world, ruining the lives of their parents..."

"So, that is a decision that's made for them? What if I looked at you and thought, hey, you probably don't want to continue living so I am just going to murder you right now in an inhumane fashion... Without even asking you?"

"Put yourself in the shoes of the mother... Got pregnant, COULD BE DUE TO RAPE... No money to raise a kid, would completely ruin her life..."

Meanwhile, everyone in the conservative household is staring and blinking in disbelief. Are we hearing this correctly?

"What about adoption?"

"There aren't enough adopted families... The last thing we need is another kid separated from their parents at birth... It's heart-breaking to think about putting up our child for adoption and raised by strangers who might not love the kid..."

Meanwhile, all members of the conservative household are still staring and blinking in disbelief.

"Wait a second, wait a second... You are getting the child aborted because you LOVE him or her?"

"Of course we do... Look, we don't know if an abortion is traumatizing on the fetus... So we made a loud declaration over a megaphone that it is painless and harmless, and that makes it true!"

Wait a second, that wasn't exactly what the liberal said... However, they said something that sounded EXACTLY like that to the conservative family. So much so, I just wrote what the conservative family heard.

The liberal leaves, and the conservatives are shuddering in disbelief, disgust, and rage.

"Okay, let's not only vote for Trump... Let's campaign for Trump, encourage all our friends to vote for Trump... And so on."

"Agreed."

The Alternative to God

An idea you hear expressed vociferously among atheists is the idea that theists see a human face in a creator because they are human. You take a society of giraffes, they have a giraffe-shaped being as an almighty being, with giraffe characteristics.

That's not the way I see it, and when I hear this idea I think of someone who has not done very much philosophy. "We are created in God's image" is not an important line to me.

One fundamental difference between the way atheists think and the way I think is about the concept of reality. What is really real? Well, what is really real is what is currently being experienced. Experiences are real. Without being experienced, atoms and objects on the grid of physical space are completely and utterly meaningless, and might as well not exist. No one would know the difference.

With the giraffe problem, you realize the flaw in your thinking when you realize that the traits we attribute to God are so fundamental it's hard to call them uniquely human. Traits like awareness, you think of awareness and you think of the numerous number of alternatives to awareness.

It goes back to the concepts of spirits before truth. There are one of two possibilities. Either the universe was created by spirits for spirits, or by dead particles and forces and CHAOS. You look at various belief systems, there may be different takes on these two ideas, or they may not express them in exactly the same words. But it comes down to, either spirits are more important and powerful than physical space and atoms or atoms are more powerful than awareness.

God is a conscious being. I am not making any other claims about his abilities other than He is intelligent, and has the power to will things into existence.

The belief that objects are more important than consciousness is one created by biased thinking related to some sort of conditioning. It "seems" unlikely that the soul transcends death or that God exists, you are not relying on any sort of evidence or higher reasoning powers, you say so due to a bleak worldview. These are my firm beliefs regarding these matters. It is emotional reasoning, not logical reasoning.

From a logical perspective, you see that something of great depth and beauty came from absolutely nothing. The universe had no soul and contained no awareness, and over a period of time it comes to the point where YOU exist. You want more than to survive as a species. You want more than for your offspring to produce more offspring. You want excitement, meaning, spiritual fulfillment, recognition, fame, respect, wonder, knowledge. These traits do not enhance your survival.

Objects over truth includes the idea that there is no good or bad, and the universe would have you endure an eternity of misery if that were a flaw in its design.

In a universe filled with empty space and lifeless atoms, the advent of self-awareness is a miracle. The alternative is no awareness. You either have awareness or you don't, there are no greater or smaller concepts, there are no alternative concepts to the idea of awareness. Of course, it may be that our human framework is incapable of comprehending them. And we take that into consideration, but for the time being we deal with what we are capable of understanding.

The idea of a self-aware being is not comparable to the idea of a giraffe god. A self-aware God contains awareness, intelligence, and will. Those are the only components we know about for sure. They are wrapped up into a concept that means that these three components are inseparable from each other. You contain the same three elements, and these three components inside you are also incapable of being separated from each other. This is a concept strongly in MY mind, and makes it so I can't reason with atheists. Well, if you don't have a soul, that means you wouldn't have (this concept). Wait, that's a concept you don't believe in, that I only understand on a subconscious level.

Also in an atheist world, it is completely normal to dwell on a large spherical object, orbiting another spherical object, in a universe where all over the place spherical objects orbit other spherical objects.

We Hate Sluts Why?

Why is being considered a slut a bad thing?

Honestly, the only reason I can see that the construct of a "slut" being shameful is in regards to cheating. Being polyamorous, that means it doesn't mean much. I mean if you were in a relationship with someone and they didn't want you to have sex with someone else, I guess maybe you would want to stay faithful. Just because it is some biological construct related to reproduction that makes a lot of people get jealous. I don't get jealous, so I have trouble sympathizing.

It's one of those dumbfuck things about society that slut-shaming even exists at all.

Other than in regards to cheating, I guess I wouldn't want to be the kind of person who goes around fucking every guy in town with sex that was meaningless. But I think if you were the kind of person who liked meaningless sex, I wouldn't think that was something to be really mean about. I mean, what do I know? Is this a character weakness? Maybe, but I don't know so let's err on the side of caution and say it's not.

In my worldview, if the sex is consensual and enjoyment is mutual and protection is used, there is no harm done. The more the better! Let the sex commence!

It kind of seems like the continuous beating up of a straw man argument.

What is wrong with the woman who sleeps around? Do we hate her because she likes sex? I thought that was a good thing. Like, a really really good thing. I thought the thing that was obnoxious in society was the woman who does NOT like sex. I must have missed something.

Naturally, it must be because she is attention-seeking and seeks approval from too many men. Which is the Toxic Notion that women do not actually enjoy sex, which is as we say here in Rachel Zuhl's world, a Baby Boy myth.

I have been thinking recently about the concept that seems to be talked about a lot, Toxic Masculinity. When I think of toxic masculinity I think of women being degraded by men in a sexual way. I don't mean men having dirty thoughts about women, I mean like lack of respect for women. I think of guys who demand sex, feel entitled to it, and in general don't respect the women they sleep with, or women at all for that matter. I think of misogyny.

When I googled toxic masculinity and slut-shaming I got references to toxic feminity. Female slut-shaming and male slut-shaming look entirely different. Women do it because they are jealous. Always.

I think I must have been absent for the life lesson about why tight-leggedness and virginity are valuable traits.

I am celibate, but that's because I am working on enlightenment.

I think what it comes down to is, let people live. Do what works for you.