We Attribute the Disconnect

Rachel's ridiculous states early 2020, a hospital debacle in 2021 where someone called the hospital unnecessarily, and she was starved of friends for those five months besides random funny encounters. Willing to live on the way in to Providence, suicidal on the way out. Lost perspective with a tying of the knot GIF and a... "I don't know, Rachel.." "ahhh!" (imprint) Put back the knot tying image. (obligation) Rachel was lost in the fantasy world her guides created. No one understood, she needed a companion was all. And had no desire to hurt Emily. Famous last words... "I miss Rachel. I miss Rachel. AHHH!! Shut up Rachel!"

Jason Troy Farnworth In Remembrance

Smart, strong-willed, and brave. Understood spiritual issues. Knew not to ask Rachel questions or believe in Jesus. Self-deprecating about youth. Self-deprecating about youth. Self-deprecating about his Mormon youth. God, it was terrible. Wanted to be a missionary. Rachel wanted out of the sexual wooing energy situation. -Remembered for his woo

Snow: Nature's Mess

Fuck I hate snow. When it snows, which isn't now, so? Why? But then... Cold white flakes, but the flakes aren't interesting ever. And then... Cold and yucky. Cold and yucky. Flurries that make you roll your eyes. And then... Yuck, can't leave the fucking house and go anywhere at all. YAY! WHY?! WHAT THE HELL? I want to leave the place, okay. And then people are all like... Woooh, white ground. Which I got sick of. No, I just got sick of the ground being covered with white cold yuck, outside, and everywhere. Prickly prickly. And done. No snow ever again. The grinch. Ham on Christmas. No beef. What? Ham. AHHHH!!!! I am supposed to eat kosher. No, just not pork, but fuck if that's important? Okay? What, Jews. You have some weird rule about milk and babies. OKAY... Okay... Nitwits. Just sayin' "And then some."

Bartenders and Bartending Situations with Salioness

Alcohol, at times, is life or death. Yes, that's what I said. I do not have a clear understanding about when or where. At a bar... it could escalate to death if they take too long serving. Never any issues. One time there almost was one at this bar downtown though, I went in, sat at a table. Hurry! Hurry! Except, you know, hey, they might decide not to serve you if you seem so insistant, never happened, just something I would think and worry about. However, that time it saved the day that I quickly went over to the bar instead of screaming my lungs out. Hurry! Also, denying me drinks for whatever reason has this ability to cause some sort of escalating psychological problem. Besides lack of ID, that's a valid reason, okay. If you look at me and there is some reason you decide to cut me off... that has the potential to cause a worsening issue. Of course, it is excused, I am not whining here, just saying. It hasn't happened all that many times at all that I have been denied drinks, actually. It has happened, and I get more worried about this situation of denied drinks every time. Quitting quitting quitting but sometimes can't really do it for special brain and sanity reasons, okay. That is all.

Shinedown: My Apologies

After consideration of the Shinedown issue, I forgave them. It would be very easy to look at this situation regarding my online presence... Rape jokes? Ridiculous attitude about memoir series... We don't believe this situation and we are pointing it out, for the record. And... What if this person is doing something that might actually cause a societal issue with her memoir series? We don't know, just pointing it out, and God. God prevents a problem here. There is no chance in hell I will learn of the album, before I am ready. This issue is a point of interest to me right now, thinking about it from a historical perspective. And that's the word!

What The Hell Is Your Fucking Problem, Kristen Zuhl?!

So I heard from Chris Sepelak that Kristen was talking to him, telling him "oh you don't know what Rachel's like when she's in [altered states], you don't know how crazy she is, you don't know how crazy she is..." WHAT. THE. FUCK. KRISTEN?!?!?!? First of all, what's the worst that has happened that I wanted to actually point out that people don't know already? Wouldn't want me to sage and open the windows constantly, that once in a lifetime exercise in 2014 really riled the fuck up with my family. That's it. That's all. What else has happened? Nothing, really. You know Kristen, looking at your Youtube Channel, I tell myself and try to believe it that you don't hate me. BUT YOU DO, DON'T YOU?!?! GOD KRISTEN ZUHL, YOU MUST REALLY WANT TO SEE ME BLEED TO DEATH, SUFFER, DIE MY LAST BREATH. GO TO FUCKING HELL KRISTEN.

Disowning My Father: The Final Straw

Thin ice... And that's that. Stress was eating me alive earlier this month, not getting proper sleep. Eventually, yes, the police got a hold, put me through a shit show, but the last thing I was going to do was hurt myself/anyone else and I get pissed off or annoyed at that assumption at all, when the stress gets high. Proper sleep. Of course, I was taken eventually to ye ole' Cedar Hills. Fond memory hospital, which has gone down hill and been reduced to a place that is a threat to the patients there, but we will get to that later on. Well, I wasn't getting proper sleep. I could go live somewhere else beside the group home, you know, but guardianship imbecile parents equal fuck fuck fuck.... Injections! Funny thing, on the way to Cedar Hills we went right past St. Vincent's and I remembered the old Invega shot issue that we weren't allowed to talk about at St. Vincent's at all beforehand, and yep, I was right, I about killed myself/functioning was very poor for the Invega shot month back in September of last year. Yes, I resorted to meth, that's how I got through that ordeal, I don't regret it but I won't do it again if I'm not on Invega/Haldol and meth becomes a NECESSITY to function at my peak. You know, by the way, Pearl House, an imbalance in dopamine (low dopamine) is a possibility, I told them that and Cascadia was worried I would hurt someone over the dopamine imbalance I was complaining about. Cascadia, you are a stupid organization, a joke, and I do not like you. That is all. Anyway, we were talking about my father. After explaining to him how horrible both the Invega/Haldol shot were, he had them all lined up to do anyone. Seriously. He doesn't think I know anything at all about myself, is what he said. That's why I am done with my father. I disowned you, crackpot, I do not want to see you or be associated with you ever again, and I hate you. I am fucking done with you Feether Meeke. The good news is I wasn't injected with anything, there was a Vraylar Deal* * = Good Deal With Wonderful Perks/Faith Addition You know, as a side note, there was a discussion on the Spiritual Plane if I was supposed to tell anyone about Subbie when it first happened. Conscie heard there was this discussion and Facepalmed. Such a no brainer. Everyone else discussed it, and in the end determined I did the right thing by not telling anyone about Subbie. What is my response to this? You would assume, wouldn't you? That Subbie was such a big F-ing step up from the original delusional issue. No, same thing, same emotional impact, not making that fucking mistake a second time thank you very much. Right, tell people about Subbie, right. Butthurt? You are not my father, Feether Meeke. I hate you and we are done, that continues.