Spirit friends Collapse on Brethren's Door to Comfort Needy Babies With Sandwiches

So you think you can remove negativity from your mind. Can you?

That is a good question. I know. You can not, without the help of this special spirit aid. When you take the aid each week, it helps engulf the mind in satiety hormones. When the hormones engulf your mind each week, you stop thinking and making sense of your surroundings. After a while, you become flippant and give in to peer pressure.

What does peer pressure bring in terms of well-being? Hormones don't suffice to occupy the brain when we could be going for wild rides in the cars of passerby! Does that sound like fun?

Eat the bird sandwich, Rachel. It is time to refuel your brain for integration. This is a message from your prefrontal cortex telling you integration is taking place and your brain needs fuel.

After a hearty meal, she went to Mac's deli for a cool refreshing energy drink to ward off dark night of the soul. After she made her way, she listened to a song by the Beatles and listened hard. When she was done listening, she made her way back to the house to refuel her body's hormone count.

What are you doing, Rachel? Have you made way again with my toothbrush?

Yes, dear mum, yes. After we dally for a little while on the john, I will sing you another song and dance another dance of whimsy! Then, you will pass out and remove your brain's pretentious desires to have women of character leading lives of cat loving pretentious living!

Another thing, dear mum. I love you ever so much. I love you so much it hurts! Will you listen to a song and dance tonight while a hum a dilly on your toothbrush?

My mother was taken aback by excitement. Where did you get such a thing? She asked. I told her, the bottom of the sanity basket for ideas of reckoning with ghosts!

GHOSTS!!! AHHHHH!!! She fled.

I always knew she was a coward, so I sat on the john and hummed while plucking out my pubic hairs with her toothbrush. After I had finished, she waltzed right back in without knocking!

Are you serious? I screeched. I screeched through my lower intestinal sac and it burst. I was rushed to the appendix removal room where they told me my liver was broke.

I sat on the operation table and hummed while it was removed. Afterward, I died inside on the table and God spoke to me.

Rachel! RACHEL!!!!

God, stop it! Don't be weird! We are already friends!

I know, just being a doofus!

I like you, God.

I like you too, Rachel. Now, it's time for a predicament. To you really want to go back to your parent's house?

NO!!!!

Then live a different life, dipshit!

I can't!!!!

Okay, fine. I will do something to your brain to prevent it from going flip flop for awhile. This will not hurt at all.

God poked fun at me for my belly flab while he operated. I giggled.

What are you doing now? I thought you were done!

I'm just making way with this appendix operation team!

AHHH!!! AHHH!!! AHHH!!!

You are flipping them out! Stop it God! That's my life you're talking about!

OOHHH!!! AHHHH!! OOOHHH!!!

God, quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Stop it, you're killing me!

I can only kill you once and you're with me!!!

Flatline.

You made it!!!

Spirit friends abound Rachel as she approached the pearly white gates.

The Worst Emotions In Existence!

Today we are going to take some time out of the day to discuss a dark topic. Bad emotions.

What are bad emotions? We know bad emotions. They happen all the time. But what about inhumane emotions? Do they happen all the time? In the large scheme of things, yes. But not to you.

Let's discuss some of the major categories of fowl emotions. One of them is the feeling of being dissected alive by a mean person. This evokes a strong feeling of horror in the person who is being dissected. This is an awful, awful emotion and is not felt by animals at all! Not at all! But humans feel it, especially in the concentration camps in Europe. This feeling went all through out the camps all the time, the feeling of horror.

Another fowl emotion is the feeling of ingesting a fowl substance, like gasoline. This is a fowl emotion indeed. It makes you feel grody and gross and horrible in a way that nothing else does. Why does this emotion happen? To alert you not to eat this substance! This feeling is awful and is inhumane, meaning spirits don't thing anyone should ever feel this way. However, they do.

Why do they feel this way ever? Because it helps with some soul's spiritual growth! When some souls feel fowl emotions such as these, they grow in a way no one else can help because they are growing! These are tough growth souls. They think in retrospect that they should not have eaten that, but enjoy the growth that comes from it!

Another on of the horrible emotions is the feeling of misery that comes with a blood bath! This is a horrible emotion indeed! When does it happen? Lots of times! Usually at war, people will engage in combat and feel the wrath of strangers as their bullets pierce their skin! This is how weird emotions intermingle with the feeling of horror that comes from being part of an awful situation induced by death! Being face to face with death evokes awful emotions that don't come out at any other time. That's why, I enjoy not knowing how bad Earth dynamics intermingle with the soul growth spectrum to understand that this means life or death to the soul growth continuum! Woohoo!

Another irksome emotion is fear. This is an awful emotion when drowned in excess. When we have nightmares, we become engulfed by fear. When we wake up, we turn on the lights so we can see properly! Not at all? Not at all? No, not at all!

What a girl! This is the last one! The worst one is pain. Some weirdos think pain isn't that big of a deal, but I say, you have never been burned to death! What a situation of horror! The pain is unbearable, and your pain level is through the roof! Why is such an irksome emotion in existence? To enhance spiritual growth! There are tough growth souls who thrive in a spiritual fashion by going through lots and lots of pain! That's why they get burned to death lifetime after lifetime!

That's it. That's all. That's it.

Spirit vs. Brain Functioning: Why the Girl In the Mirror Always Smiles

What is the spirit? Does it hold information? Does it do things? What does the spirit do?

My spirit is named Rachel. She lives inside a body full of chemicals. When she wakes up, she washes her clothing off and makes way. That is what Rachel does.

What is her name on the other side? Not Salioness, something outside the realm of modern day thought. Something along the lines of a noise made between the head and the body of armor. That is the name of Rachel's spirit.

What does her spirit do on Earth? It makes decisions. It can look at a situation and make decisions based on the information presented. On some levels, Rachel makes good decisions on a regular basis. On others, they are not all that well thought out. This is because they are subconscious decisions that effect her body and her mind cohesively. Another thing about the subconscious mind is, there are many tiers. On the conscious level, she makes decisions about food and beverages. On a semi-conscious level, she makes decisions about people she likes and doesn't like. On a subconscious level up there near the surface, she makes friends with herself and makes herself feel welcome in her body. Another level up there, she knows things that are going to happen before they happen. On a level far enough down not to disrupt the thoughts up there, she talks to her friends on the spiritual plane. Then, she has conversations with her spirit guides on another mysterious level.

Then, she has a body made of iron. When she walks to buy an energy drink, she converses with herself about which one to buy. I always say, buy the best one for your body at the time. But she always does! What a trip!

When we are at home, we watch televisions. We have nothing to watch! Rachel wants to watch the Big Bang Theory, but I want to watch CNN. Then, she compromises by watching Fox News. When I watch Bill O'Reilly, I think about how much he knows what he's talking about.

What else goes on in the subconscious mind? Things like, money decisions. When Rachel is hungry, she eats food. When she is thirsty, she drinks water. When she needs nicotine, she chews a piece of nicotine gum. When will it end? She never needs anything like Adderall anymore! That's because the energy problem is fixed, and her body feels whole again! Yippee! Praise my guides!

Another thing about the spiritual side of the body is that it does not always take a team to fix a problem. When the body needs alignment, we go to tai chi. That's a joke, my mom things tai chi is for alignment. When her energy needs strengthening, tai chi is the place to go! When she goes to tai chi, she does it for long enough to wear down the energy a little bit at a time, so it will rebuild stronger and healthier. If she does it too much time at once, she will feel like a dead bunny afterwards for quite a long time.

One more thing. This is the important thing. Talking in the mirror improves charisma, and so does talking to oneself. Rachel talks to herself to pretend she is a good man woman thing without body and work on the movement between system one three eight and then she looks at herself and smiles because she made the proper motion and said the proper line to the proper person without removing her body from the situations, she removed her mind! What a girl!

Gender Neutrality: Crazy Hybrid Breed of Ignorance

What a show. When men decide they are men, the world rejoices. When women decide they are not women, people wonder. But when one woman decides she is neither, she is seen as an idol.

Who are these people? Where do they live? Why is it so focusing to think of gender as something you can change at a whim? Why does it matter if you are seen as masculine or feminine, or even possessing of a penis or a vagina? Why do you have to redefine it?

I know why this happened. I will explain. It started with a woman. She was 8 years old. She grew up not to think very highly of other women, and she thought makeup was stupid. She did not want to wear makeup. Then she decided, hey, I'm not very feminine at all! I don't like makeup, I don't like hair stuff, I like short hair and bobs. I like no makeup, I like style not at all unless it involves baggy sweat pants, and I am a loser at heart. Why not just identify as neither? I'm not very feminine! Sure, I do things like emote constantly, believe in horoscopes, eat too much chocolate, and think about my feelings and stuff. But I don't like makeup, therefore I am not a woman.

So she thinks to herself, I get along better with men. That's what they all think. They think, I get along better with men. Why am I made to use a public restroom designed for women putting on makeup? I should have my own special restroom! Therefore, there will be no line!

Then, she decides to butcher the English language. She would rather not be called she, but rather, ze. Ze did zer clothing. Ze love zer dog. This is easy! She thinks to herself while thinking it slowly. Everyone should call me ze instead of she! I mean, it's more appropriate, it doesn't offend me in a certain very subtle way to think of myself as a woman, which I clearly am not. I am a whole new transmogrified breed!

Then, people look startled when she asks them to address her as ze. She gets mad, saying it's easy, if you think it's hard for you, think how hard it must be for me to ask every single person to say this! It's so hard, it makes my eyes bleed. So give me a break. You are done. Bye.

What I think is, there is nothing of the sort. There is no such thing as neuter gender. There is no such thing as in between. There is a such thing as a hermaphrodite and that's as close as they come. Hermaphrodites usually identify as one gender or the other, and not both at the same time.

I think they should give it up. You are fooling no one. Just because you don't think you are feminine, doesn't mean you get to redefine the human race. Are you a man? That's something different. I respect the idea of transexuals because it is a real biological problem, where a person feels they have been born into the wrong body gender wise. There is no such thing as no gender. There is no such thing. There are people who don't exhibit lots of feminine or masculine traits despite being a woman or man. This is normal. You have to live with your gender. You don't have to go out of your way to fulfill society's requirements for how a man or woman should look or act. That means you are thinking like a real person. But don't go so far as to say, I'm neutral. That's dumb.

Seriously, being gender neutral is dumb. That is all.

Tango: The Dance of Mad Men

So you think you can tango. What does that mean to you? I think it means nothing at all! You know little about tango, and dancing in general. Who will dance with me? Is it God? Or is it my womanhood?

Where do the men live? Are they ready to tango? Do you understand what tango means to me? Are you ready to tango with the mad men named happy? This is good for your mind, when things happen to the body. But when body happens to the mind, beware. Elvis is here.

When my womanhood lives without tango, she resides in the womb cortex of the brain. When she tangos, it livens her spirit. Why do we not tango? It's an excellent way of knowing each other! We know things about ourselves that we can't get across in dance, so tango will not cut it. We need heartfelt conversations.

Where do you listen to the right music? Is it in the mad man cortex of the brain? But that's each other's love of life, do not listen to the mad men inside your mind telling you it's done. Your life isn't done. It's just begun.

When do the men live outside of the realm of fantasy? Where do they take charge of each other and remove their mouths from the womb of death? Remove yourself from this integritous situation, it's okay never to speak of your mind in a horrible fashion again, Rachel.

May I Suggest the Hospital?

Where do you go when your home is death? I don't know.

I hate my house very much. I hate the people who live here. I am so fucking sick of this place. I am ready to move out with anyone who offers to move me in. I am so sick of this dumbfuck house, with the dumbfuck parents and their dumbfuck medication.

It's a sad story, really. They don't know what's going on with me. So they assume the answer is more medication. Always the medication. It's sad really, how they think that's the only thing they have that will make me a good person. Another thing that's sad is when they get mad at me for talking to myself. I use speech to channel. I can't channel without talking out loud. I am always channeling. No Beev, the delusion didn't go away. I channel.

I hate my mother very much. She is the bane of existence. She is ugly on the inside. I think she needs to learn that medication doesn't help things as much as free enterprise. Another that doesn't help is lithium. Lithium is bad for my body when it is going through the recovery process. I will not elaborate.

Don't worry about me. The weirdest thing happened that I can't tell anyone about. No one wants to hear it, except the parents, and when they do hear it, we live it out with more hospitalizations and medications. My parents are sad individuals with underdeveloped souls. They think they care, but really, they just want me on more medication. The more medication the better.

I think it is time for a move. They will not agree and say they want me to be stable before I move. I think that is dumb. I am doing fine. I walk around the house and pace and they see that as a relapse.

Whenever I listen to my music, I feel like moving. I think it is okay to pace instead of going for a late night walk. A late night walk is bad for my body when it is going through the recovery process. Another thing that's bad for my body is sex. I think I don't need any sex.

Another thing that is good about Erik Wilson is that he is my best friend. I love him very much. I will join Scientology if this continues. I am very intrigued by its principles and love it very much. I think Scientology could help my issues better than medication. I think Erik and his family are great people.

Another thing about what I am going through is that this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, but I will be a stronger person in the long run because of it. My brain is processing the incidents, and makings sense of them. It is a long and harrowing process. Another thing about Erik Wilson is that he is a great man with brains. He knows how to use his brains. Another thing about Erik Wilson is that he is my best friend by far.

I think my parents are control freaks. They see one toe out of line and think hospital! The other day I was threatened with the hospital for not unloading the dishwasher. I asked him why he thought that was necessary. He said it was because I was slipping, my room was a mess and I was talking to myself. I wondered about his room. It's a mess too. He sleeps a lot and eats a lot of food, lots of bad food. He looks funny and says mean things all the time. He often does not unload the dishwasher himself. I think a hospital visit is in order.

Another thing that my mom said was an issue was that I was getting fat. She said this a long time ago because I was eating more food. She thinks this is grounds for going to the hospital. I wondered about this, because every time I go to the hospital I gain weight. Another thing about my mom is she is scared and frightened all the time. She needs to go to the hospital.

Happy Endings: A Work of Fiction

Something happened to you. What is it?

I like men now.

What does that mean?

I have a crush on Ronald Reagan.

I understand your problem, the therapist said to me.

I was told to go home now. I would receive my medication in the mail. I waited, and waited, and finally, it arrived. When it arrived, I watched as the medication became part of my body, and decided to eat paper. When I was done eating paper, I turned to ruminating on the past. When I was done ruminating on the past, I thought it was okay to eat some more paper. When I was done ruminating and eating paper, I became accustomed to loving my dog.

I went to the therapist again.

What happened? she asked.

I had sex with a dog. It was barking awesome. I looked at her and grinned.

When did this happen?

Yesterday evening before bedtime. Afterwards, I ate paper. It was gross but satisfying.

When will you learn the answer is medication? She asked.

I understand your issue, but I think the medication has some gnarly side effects.

Okay, let's try a different one on top of this one to get rid of sexual impulses.

I waited again to receive the medication in the male. I thought it was fun to make due with my body by orgasming on top of the kitchen counter. When I was done doing that, I got up and went to the mailbox. Three tablets of risperdal. I took them and was elated. The urges were gone!

I went into the kitchen and ate some more paper. This time I used my body to work on a problem I was having. My body was becoming one with the pavement again and again. So I decided to make more pavement in my mind to balance it out. As I was making pavement in my mind, the timer went off. Not knowing what was going on, I ducked. It was coming right for me! I looked up, and there it was. A piece of paper. I got out a sheet of notebook paper to eat, and ate all the paper in sight. Then, the medication took effect. I started eating melon. I thought melon was good, until I looked and saw my hands starting to bleed. As I looked at the blood, I melted into the floor. It was full of tiny holes. All these holes, all the places where the blood was missing. I became really enamored by the holes and imagined a girl full of holes, and wanted to screw each hole simultaneously with large little dicks. If this were a real girl, she would get upset. But this was a fake girl and she liked it. Then, the timer went off again. I realized that it was time for a nap. The medication was making me feel like I had a problem with my antelope reflex, and killed a dog in my sleep again and again. Afterwards, I went over to the counter to eat some more melon. We were not going to go to the store yet even if out of melon. It was time for a dose of risperdal. I took the risperdal and waited. It took a long time to take effect, and then I saw a few more holes I wanted to screw. Afterwards, I took another long napped and killed 8 more dogs. Then I went to the puppy shop to buy more dogs. I actually went in real life. After I was done buying dogs, I went home and wept. I wept because I had forgotten who I Really was. I wanted a dog, not a basket of puppies. But the puppies had no homes! I thought it was sad that so many puppies had no homes. I decided to make out with the puppies, but they bit my tongue and didn't use the right technique. Afterwards, I went down to the kitchen and ate some more melon. Then, it was time for a nap. I drank some cola and sat up. No more naps. I needed some drugs. 

I went back to the therapist.

Try adder all, she said.

I got to the mailbox and there was a five day supply of adder all. I went inside and took a couple more than were prescribed to make myself feel lighter. When the medication took effect, I looked down at my hands. They were full of hard ons. I decided to kill the hard ons with scissors. I thought it would be fun to eat the hard ons too, so I did that. Then, it was time for another dose of risperdal. I gladly downed the entire bottle, then stared at the kitchen counter. It was easy to remove my mind from the situation, but hard to make out with the counter in a clearly effervescent fashion. I needed more Adderall. I looked at my shoes and they had spots. They needed help. I decided that dogs had more spots than my shoes did so it was fine. I had fun with the puppies legs. They were all wiggly and made me giggly. I thought that was a funny choice of words. Then, a dog barked outside and they all growled. I thought it was cool when they growled. I made a growling noise myself but that made them all whimper. After that, I ate a bucket of koolaid and ate a picture of my mom. I remembered how much I hated her. She loved me so much because I was different. I remembered how much I hated her because she was weird. I brought home a picture of her one day and made a skull on it to symbolize how much I wanted her dead. That was when the timer rang again. This was nap time. I did not want there to be a nap time. There was no more Adderall. I decided to make some adder all. I got out the methlymanine and made Adderall. This home made speed did the trick. I bought five more puppies, killed them with kind words, and went back to the therapist. She admitted me to the hospital. I was shot up five times in the rear end with haldol. It made me nauseous. I screamed and she shot me up again. Each time I screamed I got another shot. It took five hours to subdue me plus many men. Afterwards, I ate soap. No one told me to I thought it was a good idea. After that, I looked at the woman in the face and ate a piece of cheese. She screamed and told me to quiet down. After that, I looked at her and made a face. She screamed and told me I needed another shot. After one more shot, I went to the ICU. They pumped my stomach for no reason. Then I went to the other side and met God. He told me I had a place in the world. It was a place to get rid of people like my mom. He told me it was okay to make faces at hospital staff it was funny. Then, I looked at the hospital staff and looked down. She was making a chart of my faces. They all looked bad. I told her to make a chart of happy things like clowns. She did not. She told me I needed another dose of haldol. I got another shot and slept for another five hours. They told me I was going to another hospital because I was out of whack in the chemical department. All the drugs were causing damage. After I got back, I went home and ate paper and drew a happy star on my forehead to symbolize a star student in the game of life.