The Other Morning...

Well, I have been keeping a tid bit from my readers. There was some reason I had to wait to right now to tell the story from awhile ago or not that long ago but maybe several weeks, dunno how long, maybe a month I guess?

I was awake in the wee hours of the morning as usual, and there was someone attacking me and I was blocking, or so I thought. At some point they were finished attacking me, and I was left with something wrong with my brain. It's hard to understand, but the part of my brain I move or something... I was hooked like I was caught in a strait jacket, with the dopamine receptors or something, maybe serotonin as well, as I heard in my head that this thing sort of recreates serotonin syndrome (my spirit guides told me my mom has this, where the serotonin receptors aren't working properly), but even sicker and weirder. I didn't panic, I sat there, and as I explained to the FBI, moved the brain parts in a fashion that kind of resembled Bernice trying to brush her hair after she bobbed it in the classic high school English class movie, "Bernice Bobs Her Hair." I did not panic or worry. There were thoughts of feeling like a victim going through my mind right here, and I instructed myself to stop whining as it was getting in the way of me freeing myself from this (it was a simple command, 'stop whining,' not a belittling to Conscie "whine whine you whiner kind of deal, which the witch I was looking at with my subconscious mind, saw and thought was important), and not very much time later I was back to normal, I found a way to get them apart, and it was something I remembered that I could recreate.

The witch continued to watch, as he thought later might be a good time to try this again, but ha later isn't an issue if you're me.

There was something in my mind about how this entangled brain state snaps together when the subject panics, which due to spirit guide training I don't do.

Also, this was Mr. Fictitious Last Name Michael's (I can't use his name anymore for some reason, not sure so I'll just say this), attempt at getting me to commit suicide, and it costed more than the kitchen sink and stuff, I was told $50,000 but this might not be exact. This was part of a rainy day/retirement fund he had, and it was blown in one fall swoop as the witch gets paid based on the work he does, there isn't a satisfaction guarantee. The witch treated me in a slightly sweet manner after this, and then disappeared.

I laughed my head off at this situation. I was told by my spirit guides this guy thought he would make money from interviews with the media afterwards.

Anyway, I wasn't worried. Then they did it again at one point, someone did, don't know if it was on a whim of a witch or if they were paid again, I woke up and my brain was like this again. I did not panic, worked under pressure, it was harder this time but I got it undone and back to normal without panicing, just a small release of a neurotransmitter that I was annoyed by because I wanted it to be completely done in stride and forgotten about, which it was. The neurotransmitter was a feeling of horror concerned with the situation, which was mild but not conducive to the task at hand.

Then, the other morning, I don't remember what I was doing when I noticed, but they got me hitched up and tangled another way, which I patiently tried to resolve, and eventually succeeded, but it was in a way designed specifically for the mindflip, which if I have, and I am not lying, and you know that you shouldn't try to interfere it means I am right.

So I was left again with the classic scenario of the guy who threw his life savings out the window. The witch had told him this was impossible to get out of, but nope I did it with the mindflip.

I don't know if they have theories, but if you can rewire the brain in some way, it indicates design, which indicates God exists, and Christian framework. Well, no, but I have it. Close enough, yes.

The Year Was 2023: Continued

After I was hit by the black magic attack, which I had to do knowing I was on the twig, meaning danger if I make a false move, maybe. This was serious, I was fighting him off but after awhile I started to see fuzz in the air like I was becoming mildly psychotic: Fuzz with depth, which I consider psychosis, and it doesn't ever happen any other time. I wasn't sure if I was making the right decision or not, but as my head was spinning in a circle, it felt like it but my head wasn't moving... I went downstairs and said, "I'm still not taking the antipsychotics."

I had to sleep, but my brain wasn't going to let me. I went downstairs to take a klonopin, I took one, but it didn't take effect. I started crying. How irresponsible, they do something to my brain against my wishes that causes it to not work properly. In that moment, I thought the enjoyment I got out of life would not be present anymore, the thing that makes altered states interesting would no longer happen. I remembered back to a day when I still lived at my parent's house: I was a little bit suicidal and had a dream, according to Subbie I didn't remember, that Subbie died. I realized that it was about this (this was a theory), and it was the psychosis black magic that had robbed me of my enjoyment in life, as Isis the Pearl House employee asks me if I want to weigh myself too, which made me naturally assume the black magic thing was a Pearl House Event for staff.

I realized that the dream was not of the neural pathway between Subbie and Conscie being severed, rather, it was of the geodesic dome which is the mindflip being thrown to the ground and shattered, done by someone else. It was the saddest thing ever and I let myself cry. However, my brain returned to normal after enough sleep, with limited defects. It required both marijuana and alcohol to knock me out.

The Year Was 2023

I clung to life, or some sort of hope, in my bedroom. At one point I was so lost, without love/close friendships, I had nothing but the mattress and I clung to Donald Trump through the mattress. People don't like it when I cling to them through the mattress. When it comes to the mattress imprints or connections through the mattress, this is my toy and I am pro. I don't know if other people experience this mattress issue, or if it is just me. Yes, black magic makes it really stick, without being able to leave if I'm pulling on you. You can try to one-up me, but this is not a boring toy. People touch me through the mattress. I was wondering if the laws of the natural world changed and this is something that happens, bed astral projection.

So, the day after the anniversary of Suicide For Hire, I was living it up with Chris Sepelak that night and the spell hit. The coincidence was I was listening at the time to the right Tupac song with the right line in it, and so of course I shared it on Facebook and I knew right here that this was not him being friendly, and you can laugh about how I didn't know that afterwards but I see no harm in this situation. I was in denial, which is a long-winded psychology discussion. Donald Trump gave me a kiss right before this happened to say goodbye, which was experienced in the air around the room, not on any particular body part of mine.

So, I came back and I knew that the miracle had happened! Now, it would come to light the injustice of 2022, when I was clinging to my sanity during a blocked out for much of it, I noticed it at the time, acknowledged it was Jason, and didn't remember later... Anyway, I had various incidents of disrespect by staff during this showdown, which started with just Jason, and became a full-out battle with many witches, which I remember in retrospect as a stressful but valued life memory. As I acknowledged at the time, this was a childhood issue, and I would come out on top of my psychology circuit in the realm of the strongest person, in some attempts of quantifying healthy life experiences, as this was a healthy life experience, so what I can't quote Dr. Dre, Eminem? Is that some thing about being white?

Anyway, after experiencing the blow in terms of a spell, I was excited and ready for change. Well, the worldwide witch community all knew the stories of me fighting off Jason and the other witches, so that would come to light. I didn't expect this to happen beforehand, and now I knew it would.

I talked to Aaron on the spiritual plane, and he told me he liked women who had a few extra pounds, which was an attempt to make me eat more but sorry I didn't want to. He told me he liked how the song "Life Goes On" came on right after No More Pain and Hearts of Men on the Tupac CD, which Subbie pointed out and I listened.

I don't have anything positive to say about this guy, he kept saying on the spiritual plane that it must be the tryptophan in turkey, and he kept forgetting what I said about how my experiences in 2018 dining out were not my preferred activity, I had no friends because of the mission and there was something wrong. This experience was depressing. Usually I ate at Sweet Tomato, because my brain required mega nutrients and one of the perks of the mindflip is it requires you to have a healthy attitude about eating extra, which I could handle.

So, video montage of an artistic nature, it still didn't register that it was an attempt to make me commit suicide, even when he told me to commit suicide through the mattress, and I clutched him and told him to go over all the reasons why I should, and he got irked out but... I'm not sure what happened then, but the next thing that happened, they switched from black magic love spells, to psychosis black magic, which I found I was able to counter and the experience of blocking psychosis black magic was so fun, it renewed my passion for life and made me want to live again!

When things get entertaining, I start to want to live.

I regret nothing.

Beware the Farkle Swerve!

Jason was the classic and intensely tragic faced when he mentioned,...

You laugh, haha I don't care about Technical Fouls, karma, activity that's illegal in the spirit world, any of it.. Don't matter! HAHAHA IT DON'T MATTER!!

Then, splat.

Now, what did he say, "I've tried to eat at the fabric of time to go back in time, I eat and eat and try as hard as I can because... It doesn't seem to be working yet, but there is always a first time. BREATHE!"

Sexual Wooing Energy: A Raunchy Evil Sick Joke, Satan & God, XOXO

Is sexual wooing energy designed by Satan?

Or is it with God's permission, and he uses it to his advantage, but it spreads evil.

Sexual wooing energy, when used on a woman or Rachel specifically, makes her gungho about pleasing the subject.

Now, the part I want you to understand of my story, 2019 September, an awkward special month. I saw Jason thinking in my picture of him, I might be happier if I marry Rachel.

Then I told him.

There's something wrong with this. Reading other people. Then telling them.

Leavenworth, Washington. A roast of the host of the coast, toast? Post on, until then.

Hey, what I was going to point out was, I got lost in a fantasy when I noticed this, or it was already happened that gave me permission.

This was a private fantasy. Jason shouldn't have known about it, unless he can feel when I pull at him in the mattress. Actually, it's not if, it's to what degree, he proved to me he notices.

So, Rachel saw Jason thinking about marrying Rachel, then Rachel got caught up fantasizing... It was about living some sort of sexual dream, with the uber babe Jason who was just so fucking hot it bothered everyone... Hate, new word for you bimbo.

Rachel tried to explain it to Jason the best she could. There were never any guys who wanted me, besides a couple or a few and Matthew of course. No one, there was no lively experimentation with sex, I was never popular sexually. I didn't experience proper adolescence.

tion

As I come down from the sexual wooing energy cocoon of raw sex energy, I see that a woman being as forceful as I was about this, (which to me sounded like repeatedly saying, we could and should check out this sexual situation between us, and him not wanting to live a little and paying attention to his marriage vows.

Actually, there was a plan in case Jason changed his mind and married me. The mission would go somewhere else then.

Miss Ethics Seeks Pleasure in the Form of Facebook Status Tirades, Whimsy Astounds

My life, I can't predict. I don't understand why I should eat every day. I eat every single day. If there are rumors that I am a pig, I have gone out to restaurants alone when that was the only activity on this shit ass plane that excited the nerve endings, granted my social handicap prevents me from feeling like I can connect with others. Also, I can't talk about things that are important to me because everything involves character and people get pissed when I talk about character, to themselves and I have to think about it because of Subbie. Other than that, damn I hate restaurants. Like, God damn. I hate even more ordering from Grubhub, but my brain requires fuel. I have to make an effort to withstanding the haughty taughty naughty gagging smells of restaurants, God they irritate me like a shitty perfume smelling like delish in your kish sandwich with fries, yuck. If I go out, it would be to a coffee shop, because coffee shops are not included with most restaurants. I hate restaurants, and if I'm a pig to you, you're actually the more pig-like one because I have freedom from food fixation, but I have to eat sometimes like everyone. In that way, I'm more human than all of you, because I have transcended the belief that food is the ultimate satisfaction. The ultimate satisfaction to me is death, wink wink nudge nudge, Aaron.

Developing Kindness: Forgive Preachy Hypocrite Assumption, of me

To develop kindness, the spiritual model is to start by devoting emotional resources into vicariously feeling pain over other's problems. This results in a decisive effort to solve the problem, and after you do so, you can learn to practice sympathy, not empathy, especially when dealing with Earth Plane horrific situations. You don't want to empathize with everything. You first learn empathy. Than you learn to block it out, and respond.

Also, in regards to Jodie. The call in I got from her in the shower was that you learn to distance yourself from situations when you blame the person.

I have had people look at a spirit-induced (fake) embarrassing look on my face, and not believe it and laugh it off, practically. That's what it seems like, given the situation. Don't believe my facial expression? Good, because the spirits mess with that too and that means you have proper empathy, or sympathy in this situation (not sure, have not asked).

With regards to puberty, you have to start by minding your own business when it comes to other's problems. When others reach out to you about their issues, then you can give your input and focus on installing a solid base of empathy. This is something that takes numerous lifetimes and work on the other side to develop, and sometimes the process is ugly.

Only then, can you reach the Golden Standard and complete unity with Christ. I was told to say Buddha instead though, so praise be with him as well.